wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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