and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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