So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I need water and some morals
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
