It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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