i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I think your dad took our porno
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
