is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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