I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
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