since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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