Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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