just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
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