i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
