Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
