I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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