you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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