So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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