She's JV to your varsity
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
