I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
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Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I could fuck to npr.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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