Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
