i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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