Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize