There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
