couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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