There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
