the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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