cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
