only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
