I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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