I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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