I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
