Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
