tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
We got so high we made milksteak
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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