you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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