I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I want a musical about memes.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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