I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize