haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
