thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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