Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
