four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
