i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
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