and i looked up. we had an audience...
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
