So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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