When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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