Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
