i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
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Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
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I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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