Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
