If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
