I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I just found puke in my bra..
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
