it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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