just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
why do cheetos always look like penises
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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