discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
