you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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