i just wanna soil my oats bro
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I supernannyed him into submission
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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