these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
