pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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