ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
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