Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
