yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
