Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
