Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
