would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
