i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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