I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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