Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
