i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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