your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
